Can you guess the real names of this news team?

Tony Partisan

Pamela Martinbrain

Bill God

Keith Boldshit

On-the-john Daily

Harvey Overfed

Phlegm Chapel

Jas Wholehole

Cathurine Poop

Jill Krap

Catherine Noheart

Deborera Hopeless

Zap Spender

Wayne Talks

Squire Bones


Here are some clues:

  1. If they come to your door then you may as well commit suicide. They don't care how much harm that they bring to others. Their only concern is for their ratings so they can earn more money and be rewarded with influential power.
  2. They feed on provincial politicians of British Columbia -- especially premiers, and cabinet ministers. They have brought the past 3 premiers of B.C. to resign and are working on candidates of the premier post. They are definitely pro right-winged politically but if there is insufficient fodder of dirty laundry they will attack a right-winged politician. They are ready and willing to pounce on the Leader of the Opposition if he should become premier.
  3. They know how to make a mountain out of a molehill and get away with it. Anything that doesn't sit well with the general public is their game. They are relentless, ruthless and despicable in their reporting.
  4. They make people look like scum bags, but it is they that are scumbags.
  5. They act as though they are the elected ones. They think they are more influential than Conrad Black. They are falling from grace. They are burning their credibility at both ends of the WICk.


When they come on the air at 6:00 p.m., more and more people are turning off their apathy emitters or watching another news broadcast instead. Some are even complaining to government agencies just how unfair and biased they are.