It is really sad that you feel this way about God. Even though he has
allowed events to take place in my life that I did not either want or
like, I still believe he is God, and that he is in control. I love
so much. By grace, I will continue to put my faith in him, no matter
much satan tries to discourage me, so that I don't continue to
God, the more satan tries to use either circumstances or people, I
more determined to love God and put my faith in him.
You should try this you might like